Ahh, time to sit and type a post.  And this time I remembered the photo’s!

Let’s go for a quick update first.  The last month were hectic.  I tried my hand at working in an office again – I do not think I am ready for that yet!!  I wanted to be home, I wanted to help Laura and her friend study, but I had no time!! Next year we will be better organized.  So that lasted for three weeks and in the process I gained a new “facebook friend”

Then last week we visited a dear friend’s farm in the mountains.  It is close to a small town called Van Reenen.  We had a glorious time!!  We walked very far, even Pieter managed to keep going, Nes only had to carry him on two occasions when he got too tired and the grass too thick!!

But I really want to show the pictures so here it is ( Only I have to start earlier with some of the photos I forgot previously)

A Swing in the Willows

We had a picnic way back in October.  At the banks of our small river – Mooirivier.  Only it is so small I don’t really think it should be called a river.  Laura made a swing from the overhanging branches of a Willow tree and they had a lot of fun!!

Old enough to bake my own cake

A birthday party in a restaurant - very grown up

 

And then we had Pieter’s concert – he was a little donkey.  And he enjoyed every moment.  The little girl with the beautifull curls is my brother’s daughter – she was suppose to be a “beautifull girl”  – very well chosen – that is what she is!! 

Mamma se donkie

  Then we had a year end function at my temporary work place.  Out on a farm, everybody’s family and children included.  Quite nice.  Here is Enette, high up on a fallen tree.

Enette high on a tree stump

 

And at last – Van Rheenen.

The boy with the stuck out tongue is Frans. 

Look we all have to wear hats

 And this time Mamma is also in the photo

Underneath an Oak tree

And then we walked in the footsteps of  Bushmen

Here walked Boesmans

We can prove that claim!! Here is some cave drawings – hope you can see it

A Stick man - drawn by a bushman!

 On the way home, the boys took a mudbath 

Mudbath

 

Nature's slide is so much more fun

 

I love life!

 On Friday we took a long hike, I think between 6 and 8 km’s.  Pieter walked most of the way. 

Walking very very far!

 

And Laura climbed a tree!! Followed closely by Enette! 

This is as high as I go!

 

I'm higher - if you can see me!

 

Pieter rather got onto his own stump – this was fun 

Kyk ma, geen hande!

 

And then, just before the rain…

In the distance

 

And that was that.  This week the children are visiting all the grandparents – luckily both Nestus’s and my parents live in Welkom (a town in the Freestate Province). We will go and fetch them on Sunday.  I have no idea what I am going to do with myself this week!!

I think it must be nearly four weeks since I had time to attend to my blog, at least I sometimes have a “teeny weeny” bit of time to check up on other blogs.  Well, my exam is passed -  quite successfully – and now I am doing “holiday work” – just like a real student.  Only…. I am not 19 years old and I would really much prefer to be home with the kids!!  At least it is only for three weeks, I just wanted to experience a bit of the life of a bookkeeper.  I know it probably sounds boring, but I think I will enjoy it – one day when I finished the studying and when I prepared myself emotionally for it.

We had such a glorious time during the past month, if only I could remember to bring photo’s along.  We had Laura’s birthday, and she baked her own cake (11yrs old!!!)  She has grown up so fast, I look at her and I stand in awe.  I do not know where this young lady came from!!  She is beautifull and independant, responsible and funny, full of wit, not to mention the sarcasm !!  I still sometimes have difficulty believing I have one child, not to mention the other two, and now she is this incredibly strong and beautifull individual!!  She is so creative, she’s even developing a reputation for helping my young student friends (19 yr old girls) with the design and making of jewelery for their year end functions and theme parties!!

Hopefully I will be back before four more weeks has passed, if not, have a beautifull family christmas!!

Success motivates me!! No secret about that, and it make me feel great.  Right now, I am at a very big high.  Sorry, I know this is going to sound very childish, but I have to share it.  I am “mos” studying, I think I picked the most difficult course I could think of, and now I have to work VERY hard.  But it is paying off.  My elatedness is a bit premature, as we still have to write yearend exams, but in our system halve of the final marks are made up of marks you get throughout the semester.  And this far I have done very well.  Especially in TAX – I think I previously wrote about this, Tax is like a nightmare.  It is so much work and you have to remember the numbers of numerous act sections, and previous courtcases, and all kinds of stuff.  And I managed to get a 86% semester mark!!  I feel as if I am the “cleverest” person on earth!!

Okay, enough for now!!  Let’s go to an Afrikaans saying that is applicable in this case :”Goed begonne is half gewonne”  That is very old Afrikaans, the newer version is :”Goed begin is half gewin”  It means, if something is started of well, you are halfway to successfully completing it!!  Another saying that could be applicable is “Byt vas” which directly translated means something like ”hold on fast with your teeth” – we use it to say that a person should persist in what they do, eventually they will succeed or the trial will pass.  The history of this saying come from the training our young men received in the Army.  They had to do an endurance exercise where they had to run very far with their full kit, and that was called “Vasbyt”.   One more saying is “Aanhouer wen” which means the person who continues with his/her efforts will win.

I think I should stop motivating myself for now, and rather go sit and continue studying.  First subject to write exam in is Business Accounting on Monday.  So please pray, I need all the prayer I can get!!

I had the most amazing experience today.  As you would know if you read any of my previous posts, I am passionate about the universe and the greatness of God visible throughout all of creation.  Well, today I realized that the little bit of superficial knowledge I have, is one of those immense privileges that only a minority of people currently living on earth enjoy.  It goes hand in hand with the ability to read and write, something only a small percentage of earths population are capable of.  I never thought of it this way, but today I realized:  If you never attended school, if you are illiterate, even if you did attend school for a very short time and actually learned to read and write to the extend of being able to manage your own money, well … then you probably still have no knowledge of celestial bodies etc.  You most probably do not know about the relationships between the earth, the sun and the moon!!  You can even still think the earth is flat or that the sun circles around the earth!!

We have a woman working in our house, she has been working for us for nearly seventeen years, and she is like a second mother to my children and to me.  Her name is Mirriam and she is nearly fifty years old.  She is an Afrikaans speaking Colored woman.  This means that she grew up with very few privileges.  Schooling was not one of them.  She grew up on a smallholding, her parents were poor and she was the youngest of three children.  She is one of the most amazing human beings I know.  She has six children of her own and even adopted a seventh that were deserted by his mother when he was a baby.  Her husband is a gardener at the local municipality.  They used to live in a shack but they built themselves a house over a number of years.  Despite the fact that they have very little resources themselves, she is always busy with some project to gather money or clothes to assist the even poorer immigrants from Mozambique. She never hesitates to give of herself, to be there when she is needed.  She firmly believes in the grace of God.  With all this I am trying to say: even though this angel in my house grew up with no privileges, never attended school, can only barely read and write, she was raised with pure knowledge of who God really is.  Even if she never learned that the earth circles around the sun!!

This morning I was reading a book on the universe, looking at images from faraway nebulae.  I wanted to share it with somebody, so I showed it to Mirriam.  I immediately realized that she has no idea what I am talking about.  So I thought that showing her how big the sun is in relation to the earth would help.  I started showing her a dvd of Louie Giglio, illustrating that if the earth is as big as a golf ball, how small it would be in relation to the sun.  I realized that it is totally outside of her understanding.  So I stopped the dvd and said that he will continue to show other stars but I think this is enough for now.  Then she asked me: Is that the suns of other countries?  Oh my, I realized she doesn’t understand!  So I took our globe and tried to explain what the earth looks like.  Then I showed her where South Africa is.  Then I used a big green exercise ball as the sun, trying to illustrate how the earth circles the sun and how that cause our seasons.  Then I showed her how the earth’s rotation around its own axis gives us day and night.  Then I took a smaller ball, illustrating the moon circling the earth. Looking at her face while she took all this in was one of the most amazing experiences of my life.  She said she knew the earth was rotating on its axis, but she did not know that we circled the sun.  She asked if we won’t fall on the sun, or the moon won’t fall on the earth.  I tried to explain gravity and the powers keeping everything in its place.  It was incredible, like opening up the world to somebody!! 

This experience reminded me of something else that happened a few years ago when I was still a social worker.  I had to do an investigation and write a report on a young man who committed some or other crime (cannot remember what).  Ironically he was also an Afrikaans speaking Colored man living on the smallholdings just outside town.  During these investigations the person’s spiritual live was one of the factors I had to investigate and report on.  So as usual, I asked him if he believed in God, did he attend church etc.  He replied that he has never been in church and do not know anything about God.  What am I talking about?  Now, it is important to realize, social workers are not supposed to be missionaries.  Working for the government you are not at all allowed to try to evangelize anybody!  Well, since this was the first person I ever met who never even heard about God, I could not just leave it there.  I did a little missionary work as a student, but normally people have at least heard of God before!  How was this possible?  I don’t know but I tried to explain God to him.   I do not think I succeeded.  Where do you start?  Who is God?  The creator of the universe – so now you have to start with the universe – the sun, the moon, the earth, plants, animals, humans.  Ok, now where do you go from there?  Please remember – I do not have days to do this, I am supposed to be involved in an interview with this young man to be able to write a report, I only have two or three hours at the most to finalize the interview.  I cannot remember what I told him, only the overwhelming feeling of not knowing where to start, what to tell and what to leave out.  I remember calling a minister the next day, asking that somebody should go visit that family – I do not know if anybody did. 

Frankly, I have no idea what the point is I am trying to make.  Maybe it is easier to show somebody how the universe works (which we can actually see) than telling somebody who God is.  Maybe that is why I am a firm supporter of Francis of Assisi’s saying: “Always testify, if necessary … use words”.

I recently read the post of an incredibly positive woman. She mentioned that they have a lot of financial issues as her husband did not have work for six months and only recently got employed again. She also mentioned that they currently do not have a car.

Since I am very self absorbed it took me some time to realize what she is saying – they live somewhere in a first world country and they do not have a car!!  And then I remembered the year we did not have a car.

2000 – The year that changed our lives!!

January 2000 –  Enette was born with only half a diaphragm and a 15% chance of surviving!!  She was operated on before she was a day old and stayed in ICU for 21 days!

During those 21 days, Nestus and I had to re-examine our view of God.  We were 120 km apart, he staying home, working, me staying with friends in Johannesburg.  Each of us had to struggle with God, fighting, begging, pleading, crying and eventually surrendering!  Each of us reached a point where we surrendered our lives and the life of our baby girl to Him.  If He took her, we would still love Him, we would still follow as hard as we can after Him!! 

He did not take her to Him, He gave her back to us, and we never looked back.  After that ordeal we never saw anything having more value than Him again.  After saying He can take your child, you never again care so much about your car, your house or your money.  So we decided not to tithe again! As of that time, everything we own is His.  Not ten percent anymore, all of it, 100%. 

Well, we could not afford the car in any case; it was easy to give that up for peace of mind.  Ok, we had serious financial problems, so we gave the car back .  We had a seriously ill baby girl and we had to get to wherever we needed to go with bicycles!!  Since we wanted to give everything to God, we also took a family into our house – they had no income, we had a spare bedroom and an empty garage to store their furniture.  In human terms, I have no idea how we managed – but God provided!!  No, actually He blessed us to the point where our cups were overflowing!!

Nestus always say: Financially it was our worst year ever, but spiritually and emotionally it was the best ever.  During that year we grew so much closer to God, we started on this journey, not with the bright eyed first love we had towards Him and each other as students.  No, this time it was an informed choice.  We knew that He was not going to give us everything we wished for; we were not in it for the goodies anymore.  And He started giving us goodies – a little different from what is normally expected, but still very exciting.  He gave us the best friends we ever had, the beginning of a community that is still blossoming and giving fruit.  He showed us His heart towards us and toward others.  He gave us the opportunity to bring Him into the lives of numerous people.  I do not really know how to describe it all, I can only say – it really was our best year ever!!!  One night He actually multiplied the spaghetti – even if it was not bread – to ensure that fifteen adults had enough to eat, and there were even leftovers!! 

Nothing has ever been the same since. Even if I sometimes nag and moan and show so much ungratefulness, I would never want to change anything.  I would still love Him, regardless of circumstances.  I do not think I could face even the smallest challenge in live without Him, without knowing that He is in there, throughout it, with me, holding my hand, guiding me.

This generation of women was mostly raised to be employed. To go work somewhere, help earn a living for their families. But this generation of children doesn’t need their mothers less than previous generations. On the contrary – it seem to me, children need more and more the strong loving presence of parents to be emotionally healthy and safe in this world.

I think I was raised to have a career. I remember growing au and people asking: What are you going to be when you grow up?” Recently I heard a little girl giving the best and most logical answer I have ever heard: Í am going to be a human.”

Now, I would have loved to just be a “human”. Actually to just be a mother and a wife and not to worry about helping to earn a living would have been wonderful. This is not actually “the whole truth and nothing but the truth” . I would have loved to have the luxury to make such a choice. I don’t think I would ever be able to be at home without a lot of intellectual stimulation, but being a mother and a wife does not exclude intellectual stimulation. Right now I am not bringing in money or earning a living in the financial sense. I am a student, therefore I study (there you have all the intellectual stimulation needed ) and I am doing the mother and wife act much more than while I was working. So I am making a contribution, better than before even though it cannot be counted in banknotes!!

But this is taking a financial toll. It places a huge burden on Nestus to support us financially with the small salary of a university support staff member . At this point I need to clarify, he is doing miracles with it and manage to provide quite adequately. But since we decided to start homeschool Laura as of next year and the other two as they reach grade 5, I started worrying about having enough time to for homeschooling and studying and later on, when I have to do my internship, when will I then find the time needed by my children. I started reevaluating my intended career as an accountant/auditor. I know that I do not want or intend to put my life on hold because of homeschoolling. We always believed that our lives should not centre so much around the children, that we would have nothing left when they leave home as adults. I want to complete my studies and do the internship and for once in my life earn a decent salary. I want to do this, for myself and for my family. But I also want to eventually homeschool all three the children. I just wish there was time to do all of it without compromising and neglecting some things.

I also started wondering, how does other families cope? Even here, in our small hometown, there are lots of families with only one income, and it would be something like a teacher’s salary, or a lecturer. Granted, teachers and lecturers average nearly twice Nestus’s salary, but still…. How do they manage to buy houses (very expensive ones) and new cars? What do they do to make it possible for moms to stay home? We cannot cope without the support of our close community and dear friends!! We would not be able to buy clothes for the kids, if somebody doesn’t give us a little bit of “Jesus money”!! We cannot even afford to pay school fees!! How do they do it? We would not be able to go on holiday if our dearest friends don’t invite us to go along with them, and even then, sometimes we worry for weeks about getting the money needed for fuel to travel.

Until now the Lord has blessed us, we have everything we need, normally in excess, allowing us to share where possible, but I still struggle, and I wonder, what does other people do?!! Do the Lord care and provide that much for them as well? Is it only me, who, despite every proof to the contrary, still have difficulty trusting Him? Is it only me that still worry about what we will do when we retire, would we have enough to live, not only survive?

I have seen so many people actually going without food. I have seen mothers going to waste disposal sites to search for food, discarded by the more privileged, to give to their hungry children. We had to give many times to sick or old people who have no food, whose social security pensions were cancelled due to the incompetence of government officials. We live in Africa, where there is always a famine going on somewhere.

Until now the Lord provided for all our needs, but through experience I know, He does not always provide in all the physical needs of everybody that believes in Him and prays to Him. Until now He has provide for me and my family, but what about the thousands of people living less than 15 km from me in squatter areas? So, how can I say that I will homeschool my children, taking care of their future and ignore my own? How can I say that I will leave it all in His hands, He will provide – if I have seen that His idea of what is best, and my idea of what is best is not always the same? From this privileged position, a chair in front of a computer, with electric light, save inside my house, well fed and healthy, I have difficulty saying I believe and therefore He would provide!!

Even though I probably sound very ungrateful, I can uncategorically state: The one thing I do know is that He know the best. He intends the best for me!! I have to find my place in His plan and make peace with the consequences – Find a way to trust that in the bigger scheme of things, my life will fit perfectly. And again make peace with our limited budget and long term financial scarcity!!

At least for the near future I would be able to homeshool Laura and study at the same time, later on…. Well we will have to face “later on” when we come to it .

Life is filled with so many blessings and miracles, so many beautiful things to be grateful for.  I am going to start counting; I do not think I will get to the end of it during this lifetime, which for me would hopefully last at least another fifty odd years.

1. Being born: I really am glad that I was born on a late winter’s day so many years ago.  This world is a wonderful place.  There is so much to explore, so much to discover.  Without being born I would never have had the opportunity to see the earth and all the wonders the Creator has created.
2. Being born again: I was only fourteen years old, and probably only committed myself to Jesus at first because I was afraid of going to Hell!! Since then I learned there is much more to it.  He is incredible, He is a constant companion, He is the best friend ever and I would love Him whether there is a Hell or not.  (Okay there is a hell, and thanks to Him, I won’t see it )
3. Nestus: This is one person I can trust with my life.  I believe we were made to be together.  He makes me more, he helps me grow, he support and encourage me, he spoils me rotten.  I love him, more than I thought possible for a human being to love another!! Wipneus (on a Afrikaans blog) posted a poem/song today on love – this reflexs what I hope our life would be like in years to come.
4. Three beautiful children: gifts from the hand of a loving God.  Every time I look at any one of them I feel especially blessed.  I think God experience what we call in our home a “little love attack” towards me (liefdes aanvalletjie) when He created them and allowed me to be their mom .
5. Being born here, in turbulent South Africa:  Many times I wanted to leave, but I never could.  I love being here; I love the sunshine, the open fields of the Free State, the dry gray winters of the North West Province , the mountains of Mpumalanga.  I love the diversity of our people, the richness of our cultures.  I love being here
6. Friends: I have so many friends, so many people that care for me, and that I care for.  I am constantly surrounded by love.  Even during those dark days that I feel no connection with anybody, I can count them and at least intellectually know there are people who care.
7. Being born as my fathers’ daughter:  I cannot think who I would have been, were I not born to be the daughter of this specific man.  Strong principled, short tempered, intelligent and faithful.   For this I am truly grateful.
8. Being born during the 20th centaury: If I were born even 100 years earlier, I would not have survived Enette’s birth, and she would not have survived her first night on earth.  Those earlier days may sound romantic, but I certainly am glad that we can drive around in cars and don’t need to use horse carts, or wagon’s pulled over mountains by oxen. 
9. This brings me to TECHNOLOGY:  I love technology.  I love gismo’s and gadgets.  I love all those things that can make life easier to live – and it brought us internet!!!
10. Books: How do I love books!!  I am so glad that humankind discovered writing thousand of years ago.  It is such fun to read what others have thought.
11. For today the last one will have to be flowers: Colorful, vibrant flowers, growing wild, or in gardens, on trees, everywhere.  And for today, the beautiful bunch of flowers given to me by a dear friend, for no good reason, as we would say in Afrikaans – net sommer!!

Things are not currently going well with me.  Last week I wrote in my diary at home, how well and smooth everything is going, and now, not one week later, I want to crawl under a bed and stay there for a day .  Okay, its not that bad, but I am annoyed and irritated.

Last week I fell down the steps in one of my classes, and I tore a ligament.  Now I have to hobble on crutches and  this campus is big.  I cannot cook – cannot stand behind the stove. I have difficulty combing my little girls hair, since I cannot stand behind her in front of the mirror.  I realise there are many people who have more difficult things to cope with, but really, I am not used to being so incompetent!! And hobbling along on crutches surely work all kind of muscles you forgot you had!!

But that is not all that is currently annoying me.  I am starting to think that attending real school is very uncool!!!  My grade 2 child decided that she want to take part in the school’s debating competition.  She told her classteacher about this intention, and then we had to write a “speech” on why her dog is her best friend.  So we wrote a speech, something I think is quite age appropriate and that my little girl can relate to.  She used to be the shyest little thing I knew, but during the last two years her self confidence grew and she really enjoyed practicing her little speech and giving it in her class.  Her voice is strong and clear and I did not even worry if she would be able to make herself heard in the school hall.

And then, last night, we had the actual competition!!  And to my amazement…. the competition was not about the second graders ability to speak in public, oh no, it was all about the parents ability to write scientific reports with at least three references and numbered arguments.  It was incredible, small children using words that they can in no way understand the meaning of, unless they are all in the geniusly gifted category!!  Very little innocence, nearly no spontaneity.  So, now I come to the conclusion, I have no knowledge of debating, because I am not willing to admit that I have no knowledge of 8 year old children.  Maybe I just do not understand the rules.  Maybe I just want to keep my little girl an innocent child for too long, maybe we would just never be able to compete in such a competitive world.  I have no idea, I only know that in no way will I force my child to be ripe before her time.  She will remain an innocent, spontaneous little girl, dramatising normal childlike stories, for as long as she needs to.  But I must also admit, it really did upset me.

Ok, this could come as a big surprise to some who thought they new me.  Actually it is a big surprise to me. 

As you know, we live in South Africa, our children attend public school – I think that is the norm here.  Public schools were always very good, not for everybody, I know.  Due to our history of apartheid, I cannot claim that all public schools were good or even that all of them are now equal in greatness.  Out education system seem to be battling an uphill struggle.  My problem currently is, despite the logic of trying to improve the situation where it was bad, our system also seems to be in the process of degenerating where the system were good.  Okay, what I am trying to say is, education in my children’s “very upmarket, well developed and academically advanced” public school, is not as great as I would have liked it.  Not a week goes by without a small “war” breaking out in the Venter household agains the education system – textbooks have wrong information, teachers cannot write proper sentences, spelling in text and tests are horrible, values are imparted that we do not agree with etc. etc. etc. 

Now, you should know, I have always been hard set agains homeschooling.  I loved attending school myself.  I did not achieve great things, but all in all it was a good experience.  I loved to study, that is probably why I still do it.  I loved my friends, I loved playing hokkey for the school, even though it was for the last team, I loved being part of the cadets, I loved attending athletic events etc. etc.  Okay, there were bits that I did not like, but nothing serious. 

So what did I change my mind about?  Homeschooling!  I decided against all odds to start homeschooling our oldest child, Laura, starting January 2009.  The reason:  We realised we cannot continue telling her the following:  “Okay Laura, what they say here is wrong, but just study it like this for now, otherwise you won’t past the test tomorrow!!”  When will we start unlearning all the things they teach her now.  When will we correct scientific knowledge, basic principles and language.  And with this decision suddenly came a lot of understanding.

For instance, my friend over at Vestaoikos cannot wait to start teaching her two small boys all kinds of stuff. All of us keep on saying to her, just relax, they are still very small, don’t try to do too much etc. Now I understand, she CANNOT WAIT to teach them cool stuff. Since deciding to teach the children myself, I started thinking of all the nice things there is to teach them, how many wonderfull things we could learn and experience together, and now I cannot wait either!!!  We will start only with the Laura, she will be in grade 5 and can already work by herself.  I do not think I would be able to teach a child to read and write,  we will continue to use the public school to achieve those skills, at least untill the other two has also passed grade 3.

For now, we will have to do our homework, find out what can be fitted into a year, what is expected, make sure we do not overwhelm our poor child with too much expectations. Then we have to get past our school’s principal – he don’t like the idea of homeschooling. And lastly, we will have to find enough dissipline to make this work.

Last night I watched a very old episode of “Grounded for life“.  And it made me think of another colourfull difference between our beautifull Afrikaans and English.  The girl, I’ve already forgotten her name (okay I went and looked – her name is Lily), had a disagreement with her boyfriend.  And then she asked: “Are you breaking up with me?”  You know, we won’t use that phrase in Afrikaans.  Translated directly into Afrikaans :”Breek jy op….”  No, we would rather use this phrase “Breek op” in relation to poor cell phone reception.  You know…, when you try to talk to somebody and the phone make funny krrrr…grrr… noises, or you can only hear every third word the other person is saying: “Yes, I……………..breakfast…………lastnight………….later”.

Then how does our teenager “break up” at the end of a relationship.  You are not going to believe it!!!  Directly translated from Afrikaans to English, we would say they “made out”!!!!  Totally the opposite of what you think it means.  In Afrikaans that girl would have said: “Maak jy uit met my?” 

I’m surely glad they did not try to use our version of English in the making of that programme!!!